ATTERCOP


I Know Me A Big Ol’ Secret
May 5, 2010, 8:19 pm
Filed under: Mysteries | Tags: , ,

 

Go read this blog:

http://fuckyouverymuch.dk/

 

**********************************

 

This is my life right now:

battlestar-galactica-battlestar-galactica-64006_1920_1200

Advertisements


Three Peaches
April 9, 2010, 11:02 pm
Filed under: Blogging, Mysteries | Tags: , ,

I’m pleased to see other departments do well, and I’m so proud of my actor friends and technical theater (yes, er, not re) friends. Y’all have done a wonderful, enchanting and above-average job.

I’m currently listening to “On Avery Island” (1996) by Neutral Milk Hotel. It’s a really lovely cd so far, very different to “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea” (1998), but very beautiful.

 On_avery_island_album_cover

(^GET YOU SOME^)

I finally tried horchata today. It’s extravagantly delicious.

Allot me a second to saying something with a little weight. I usually feel pretty distance from other gay men. I’m just a different kind of person, meet me and you’ll get it. Usually this bothers me, because most of the time I can split our demographic into extreme neat groups: Overly Feminine, Drug-Users and Crazy. Really, take a look around, either you are one of those things, you’re straight, or you’re me.

These are the thoughts that are usually hanging around seeming true (whether they are or not should be obvious) when I’m feeling depressed. But that’s a sort of funny word, depressed. Because when you are depressed you don’t think you’re depressed, you think you have “clarity” and that your unhappiness comes from this understanding of The Way Things Really Are, which, in those moments, is pretty bleak.

Anyway, during these destructive moments of Differentness I find a lot of comfort in the writings of Mr. David Badash and Mr. Cody Daigle. I suppose if I were still sixteen I’d be saying the same thing about Leaves of Grass or The Perks of Being a Wallflower, unfortunately, being in college means being out in the world are darkly (if gorgeous and moving) literature doesn’t always do it. Sometimes you need current and real-world voices. And these two are good.

Oh, right, my point, they are now both writing at the same place, that is: The New Civil Rights Movement. Go, read that shit.

At least, read I Do Not Deserve Your Tolerance. It’s so good, so so good.



Closing a Book

"Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’
Or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’."

-B. Dylan

I’m not going to write the blog about gay news. I can’t handle it. The more I read news about gay issues the more depressed I feel.  My kind is so fickle and tiresome. If It’s legal for me to get married when I’m ready for it,  then I will, if it’s not, then I won’t.

The argument that the other side has about how gay men are so carelessly promiscuous that they wouldn’t know what to do with marriage even if they had it is honestly a pretty reasonable stance. Not that it hold water according to the law of course, nor is it reason enough to withhold the rights.

Still, I have a hard time disagreeing.I’ve realized something about myself. It’s weird and strange, but I hope this feeling stays: it’s more important for my life to have a family than a romantic relationship. I mean, I’ll always want significant, loving male companionship, but I realize when I think about being older all I imagine is myself making art and being a father. Not that I’m about to run out and adopt me some kids, I can hardly take care of myself, much less children. But, in the future, that’s the plan. (Projected ETA for Pseudo-Spawn: Approx. 30 years old.)

Geeze, all  this talk of the importance of family, I guess I am a Jarrett after all.

I’m almost done with Physical Journal #5. It’s exciting, my ex, David, bought it for me on Halloween last year. He’s gone but the volume remains. Good trade off.

journal

When taking this picture I noticed that it smelled like age and knowledge and bookishness and fall leaves and love. This has made me happier than anything else.

I think it’s the best journal I’ve ever owned. It’s certainly see some of the most difficult  moments in my life.

Other notes about the photo: hooray for library and big headphones.