ATTERCOP


Closing a Book

"Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’
Or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’."

-B. Dylan

I’m not going to write the blog about gay news. I can’t handle it. The more I read news about gay issues the more depressed I feel.  My kind is so fickle and tiresome. If It’s legal for me to get married when I’m ready for it,  then I will, if it’s not, then I won’t.

The argument that the other side has about how gay men are so carelessly promiscuous that they wouldn’t know what to do with marriage even if they had it is honestly a pretty reasonable stance. Not that it hold water according to the law of course, nor is it reason enough to withhold the rights.

Still, I have a hard time disagreeing.I’ve realized something about myself. It’s weird and strange, but I hope this feeling stays: it’s more important for my life to have a family than a romantic relationship. I mean, I’ll always want significant, loving male companionship, but I realize when I think about being older all I imagine is myself making art and being a father. Not that I’m about to run out and adopt me some kids, I can hardly take care of myself, much less children. But, in the future, that’s the plan. (Projected ETA for Pseudo-Spawn: Approx. 30 years old.)

Geeze, all  this talk of the importance of family, I guess I am a Jarrett after all.

I’m almost done with Physical Journal #5. It’s exciting, my ex, David, bought it for me on Halloween last year. He’s gone but the volume remains. Good trade off.

journal

When taking this picture I noticed that it smelled like age and knowledge and bookishness and fall leaves and love. This has made me happier than anything else.

I think it’s the best journal I’ve ever owned. It’s certainly see some of the most difficult  moments in my life.

Other notes about the photo: hooray for library and big headphones.

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