Stone Table System
February 3, 2009, 8:33 pm
Filed under: Blogging, Mysteries | Tags: , ,

Break. Heal. Scar. Strengthen. Break. Heal. Scare. Strengthen. Break. Heal. Scar. Strengthen.

I need a more interesting life. I mean, no. Yeah. No.

I smell the skin of someone who sits near me and it drives me to lonesomeness. A warmth that I will not know and if I know it I’ll never feel safe with it. I’ve been trained by stories and experience to not feel safe in anything resembling a relationship. I just want to hug, to hold hands. I don’t want fuckin’. I’m pretty sure I never really did.

Hullo Valentine’s Day. You don’t mean anything. You’re like water skiing, I just always assumed we would never have anything to do with each other. I’ve been right about this assumption seventeen times already. So, the eighteenth one should pass quietly enough. It doesn’t bother me. Holidays are weird like that. I always feel like they belong to someone else. Like a strange car in the parking lot. I’m not going to go up and touch it, and I have no inclination to. I see it, I’m aware of it. But I just flow on.

River water does not stop to feel lonely for the scent of the flowers it passes on its way, it just goes on it’s way. So will I not tarry is in bitter stillness.

Quickly river wind
Channel benign turbulence
Picking at my scarf.

Glass wall. Electrons.
The Net gives, no questions asked
The Net takes away.

And the words won’t come
For the one unselfish want:
Skin can feel skin felt.